I was asked to be a guest on the New Wholesaler Masterminds Radio Show, hosted by Rob Shore. It is a podcast dedicated to the art, science and lifestyle of wholesalers and their leaders. They believe that emotional intelligence (EQ) is one of the key components to wholesaler success, and because I’ve spoken on this topic to Merrill Lynch Financial Advisors, Chris Dungworth, managing partner at Ro Morrison & Associates, recommended me. We had a fantastic conversation and I’m excited to share it with you.
You can listen to the podcast below, or follow the time stamp guide to skip to portions you’d benefit from the most.
Rob opens the show by talking about the wholesaler formula for success: IQ+EQ+CQ=MQ.
We all know what IQ stands for, but what about EQ, CQ, and MQ?
- EQ stands for emotional intelligence quotient and is measured by your ability to be aware of, control, and express your emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.
- According to Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, CQ stands for curiosity quotient and “concerns having a hungry mind. People with higher CQ are more inquisitive and open to new experiences.”
- So if you add these three together you get your MQ—memorability quotient. In other words, how memorable are you?
Rob Shore wanted to peel away the layers of emotional intelligence, and since I consider EQ vital to career and life success, I was happy to have the discussion.
Here’s a guide to the topics covered on the podcast, and a time stamp so you can skip ahead.
(03:00) How can wholesalers deepen their advisor relationships?
I share some vital questions to get you started. Ask yourself:
- Who am I? What makes me tick?
- How does that influence others?
- What are my triggers?
The last question is very important. Rob and I talk about how you must learn to manage your triggers, so they don’t impact relationships. Listen to the show for more on this topic.
(04:24) Most of us have had an experience of having a personality test like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). What are the things we should look for on these types of tests that help us answer the question: Who am I?
I explain to Rob that when looking at psychometric tests, focus on strengths and areas you need to strengthen, which are more likely areas that will cause you to lose control of your emotions. Maybe you realize you are great with organization, one-on-one meetings, and follow-through, but aren’t so great when it comes to working with others. This means when you work in teams, you might get triggered, and not be able to manage your emotions. Knowing that about yourself will enable you to watch out for signs of being triggered, so that you can respond appropriately to those triggers rather than react badly to them.
(06:16) Let’s talk more about triggers. What are some common triggers?
In this part of the show, I bring a little neuroscience into the conversation by explaining the part of the brain affected by triggers—the amygdala—which is also responsible for our fight or flight instinct.
We also talk about how people’s reactions to triggers vary. Some people will yell, some will sweat, and others will start shaking their leg. So while we may not always be able to logically identify we are being triggered, by knowing how our body physically responds to triggers, we can FEEL the trigger and start to pay attention to our response.
(07:50) I share my trigger response with Rob
When I’m triggered, I feel nauseous. When I notice I feel nauseous, rather than trying to figure out what triggered me, I need to manage my reaction so it doesn’t affect clients. I share some ways to manage triggers with Rob, starting with the twenty-second rule.
(09:52) 80% of the average person’s personal and career success can be attributed to their EQ. So even though I might be brilliant with PhD and years of experience, I can ruin my career if I don’t get my triggers under control?
Rob and I talk about why EQ is a necessary element to success.
(10:58) Besides how we face off around our bosses and colleagues, and how nicely we play in the corporate sandbox, what other occasions should we pay attention to EQ so that we don’t misstep?
I speak about an extremely important time to pay attention to EQ: leadership. From leading a phone call, to leading a meeting, to leading a global organization, EQ is key.
(12:34) “Enough About Me, Let’s Talk About Me Syndrome”
Rob and I discuss how when meeting with an advisor, a wholesaler who is doing the same pitch for the sixth time that day, may be tempted to just get through the pitch and get out the door. A vital step is missing here: the advisor. Checking in with the advisor’s reactions and behaviors is precisely how you deepen the relationship.
(13:30) Awareness brings choice
An important aspect of EQ is awareness. When I am aware of my own emotions and the emotions around me, I have a choice of how I want to continue.
(14:27) Managing your energy and not your time
Rob brings up a quiz I give when speaking about energy management. I talk about how managing our time is a losing proposition. Time is finite—we are never going to get that 25th hour out of the day. However, energy is not finite—we can get more of that and increase our productivity. We move on to discuss emotional energy specifically.
(17:15) The anger hangover
(17:49) Rob is reminded of something a boss once said about him…
I’ll leave what Rob’s boss said as a surprise. Listen to the show to find out!
For more valuable information about becoming a great wholesaler, visit Wholesaler Masterminds, and listen to more episodes of their podcast (and subscribe!), here.